Pecker smack the Wolf Pack

See, we can think up catchy phrases, too, Nevada.

According to the UNR university propaganda Web site, the Nevada students put on some homecoming contest ths week called Bulldoze the Bulldogs.

This is how Nevada public relations practitioner Scott Gayer (too easy; we'll lay off that one) described the event: "Goggle-eyed fraternity and sorority members stumbled, shouted and jumped their way through a zany obstacle course."

We don't see any goggles. Do you?

Here's what we do see: cardboard boxes, fingerpaint and shame.

And how many of the students pictured, including the girl whose face looks like she's passing a stone, are all wearing red? This is a spirit rally?

What a zany afternoon.

But then again, it wasn't the only piece of Wolf Pack "news" that made little to less-than-zero sense this week.

It seems elderly Nevada coach Chris Ault has either forgotten that the area inside the 20-yard lines is referred to as the "red zone" or he's just one of those stubborn old people who like to make up their own names for things.

To our grandma, Long John Silver's is Hi-Ho Silver. Try telling her otherwise and watch out for the uppercut.

Either way, Ault is now roaming around in his Depends babbling about some gold zone.

And instead of getting any kind of explanation for this dementia, some reporter from the Nevada Appeal just accepted it as fact for what he termed as "obvious reasons" and proceeded to refer to the red zone as the gold zone for the rest of his story.

Nevada, let's clear up the confusion. Your colors are blue and gray. We're red. The zone is red. Maybe your coach's Metamucil has some gold on the label.

And you're going down.