Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The day Graham Watson drops knowledge on me will be the day that Peter Gammons changes his name to Graham Watson

If you don't know who Graham Watson is, consider yourself lucky. Or, at least you were until I decided to write a Graham Watson blog, which, thanks to it containing her name, now has an unfortunate side effect similar to the one you get when reading her blogs.

Watson -- unbeknownst to many of the people that actually do read what she writes out of boredom -- is in fact a female and non-BCS blogger for espn.com. That wasn't meant as an insult, but actually a real did-you-know, as more than a few message board-ers have dropped a "he" when referencing Graham. Don't worry though, plenty of insults still to come.

Graham Watson's job is to know non-BCS football (unless she has a second job, in which case only one of her jobs is to know non-BCS football). She is paid to watch them, write about them, read about them and even go to some of the games and cover them in person.

Needless to say, I don't find Graham Watson to be a particularly entertaining writer, or to generally have an informed opinion about non-BCS teams. Count me in as one out of nine Americans who agree with that statement (fine print: who knows if that's true, but I'd like to think it is). Sure, it's hard to mess up links to local newspaper Web sites and a list of players who have won awards (although it's happened). That stuff is generally tolerable. I've got no beef there, plus, beggars can't be choosers.

Rather, it is the lack of pure knowledge of teams, the head-shaking predictions, the perceived arrogance, etc., that make her a villain for college football fans. Her opinion-including blogs are daily evidence of that. She's consistent at least, I'll give her that.

So why do a blog now? Well, for one, I had the time. And then there's, well ... read on.

What if I told you that today, as I half-heartedly browsed through the BulldogBounce twitter feed, I ran across a Graham Watson tweet that provided me great entertainment and a lengthy laugh?

See the evidence below:

As you may have figured out, the "allow me to drop some knowledge" portion of the tweet was the part that did it for me. At this point, I was willing to be suckered, hoping to continue my streak of Graham-provided hilarity's. So I suckered myself into clicking the provided link, only to become utterly disappointed (but not surprised) with the vagueness, cluelessness and general ineptitude that followed.

BUT, for at least a brief segment in time, albeit unintentionally, Graham Watson brought a smile to my face, and now, to yours. That has to mean something. Could it be, that after we've grown apart from her for so long, that we've now learned to love each other. I only thought it fair to capture this event with its due diligence -- a sentimental Graham Watson tribute blog (which you've been reading) and a letter to her (which you will now read).

So to you, Graham, on behalf of the readers and myself, I say this:

Graham, I know we've had our ups and downs in the past, and we readers realize that it was unreasonable for us to expect us to see eye-to-eye on everything, but it became impossible for us grow together once you showed us your wealth of a lack of knowledge on college football. In the beginning, we showed an undying commitment to you, only to feel turned away by your insulting lack of knowledge of our programs.

I'll never forget the time I saw you remind about/request an interview on Facebook for Fresno State running backs Lonyae Miller and Ryan "Matthews." But that's OK, spelling isn't important for a paid non-BCS blogger, nor is knowing how to spell the name of arguably the best running back in the country, who just so happens to play for a non-BCS team.

Still, regardless of our rocky start, stars aligned and brought us back together, for what could only be described as us having a moment that we shall never forget.

Actually, on second thought, you got lucky this one time. Continue to take espn's money and "drop knowledge" on those suckers who can't get their cheek off the hook, and we'll all go our way and continue to know libraries of information more than you about non-BCS and BCS football alike.

Man, what a moment though ...

The end.

1 comment:

  1. She is truly the most boring if not the most inaccurate...well I am not sure if inaccurate is the word...writer at ESPN, because she fills her reports in with fluff to cover the lack of "knowledge". If by non-bcs you mean ND...better but still no cigar. For actual non-BCS conference teams...she sucks. I quit even reading her crap writing a year+ ago.


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