Friday, October 12, 2007

Idahope this bit's as funny here as it was in our head

Yeah, we weren't going to pile on Idaho this week because, well... Idaho. Sheesh.

But with his mashed taters smack, mizarkn got us in the mood to tizalkn some trizashn.

We used to work with an Idaho grad a few years back. Some chick named Janice or something like that. This was when the Fresno State fight song was our celly's ring tone.

Remember that night the Bulldogs put up like 5 million yards rushing and 70-something points on Hawaii? We played the ring tone every time Fresno State scored until Janice had a nervous breakdown in the office.

She didn't like that tradition. But here's one she did like: She told us the Vandals fans throw potatoes on the field in some pregame ceremony.

Stupid right? Well, we thought that since a dis blog on Idaho wouldn't really serve much purpose (it's not like their fans ((all four of them)) are familiar enough with the internet to even be offended) -- we thought we'd extrapolate their stupid potato-throwing crap out to include other teams.

Like, what if every team's fans took something that people identified their community with and threw it on the field?

We already know what Fresno State fans throw. Beers. Go ask Oregon State. Oh, and we throw fictional screwdrivers.

Duck, June Jones, duck!! As in Donald Duck Orange Juice, so Jones can go mix it with some vodka. Liar.

Anyway, here's our take on what some other Fresno State opponents should throw on their fields.

San Jose State: Hot dogs. Yeah, the Spartans' football team got so bad (as have the rest of their sports), school officials toyed with the idea of dropping the program. Since then, their best known "athlete" is Joey Chestnut.

Oregon: Fat, ugly broads. Seriously, on this year's trip to Eugene, all we saw were hephers. We had planned to take some pics and maybe video of Oregon's hot chicks and post it up here just to exploit them. We'll spare you. All we saw were unshaven pits and multi-chins.

Nevada: Crank. We'd say gaming chips, but who goes there to gamble anymore? Now all Reno is known for is a parody show about bad cops in short shorts and making the biggest little pots of meth.

Hawaii: How 'bout instead of throwing things, you just pickup your damn litter, OK? Has anyone else seen a game in Hawaii on TV? Jesus, why is there so much paper garbage always blowing around on the field? Better not take that tear-shedding old Native American guy from the anti-littering commercials over there. He'd have a heart attack.

Bwa-zay State: The finger. No wait, that's what we'd throw at their racist fans. Seriously, what better way to ruin one of the greatest stories in the country than to have the star football player who helps fuel the upset of the century and proposes to his cheerleader girlfriend after the game than to round up all your redneck fans to send him death threats?

Oh, and our prediction for this week: Idaho loses.

1 comment:

  1. Ooooh... ouch about the Oregon girls comment. I live in Oregon... do I count? Wait, since I'm from Cali does that mean I'm exempt?

    I think what you forgot to say in your blog is that your hot friend Amanda upped the Oregon ugliness-quotient when she moved to Portland!


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